I will not give up

I had to remind myself of this today. You see we are in the final month of the semester and classes are really heating up. Papers are due and finals are coming. I worked out with the guys to relieve some stress and stopped dead in my tracks because of a nasty low of 32mg/dl as if school pressures are not enough I have to fight diabetes in the mix. You hear all the time how you are stronger because of your disease or a better person because of it but at the end of the day I wanted to cry. I felt weak and defeated. We were all having a great time walking back from the soccer field which is about 3 Min's from our dorms and bam it hit me like a ton of bricks. I stopped and tested and of course it is low. I am amazed at my friends though they did not fret or run nope they stopped with me. As if I was not embarrassed enough one of our campus police saw us and stopped when he saw me test. He knows I am diabetic and said get in the car and took me to the dining hall for some much needed juice. Now I know that as diabetics we are strong and should never be embarrassed of a disease we did not ask for or cause but it is just those little moments that I just wish for a moment that all was right in my diabetes world and I was always at perfect levels. I then snap out of it and get back to reality and realize that I need not be embarrassed instead I need to be grateful for the friends and support I have to help me each day.I did not give up today instead I drank my juice and got back to college life. On a side note all of my friends just signed up to do the jdrf walk with me this year!! but more on that later.

Love, Hate, deal

This is what I have had to deal with this week! I really hate diabetes at times like this. You see I have a paper that is 60% of my final grade due this week and so I have the stress of ensuring that this paper is nothing less then high quality historical research along side my Anatomy class presentation that also happens to be due the same day! Now for any normal college student this would be enough to keep them up for a week and on the edge of their seat till the grade comes back, but for me with type 1 diabetes I have to first deal with this number and get re-situated before I can stress the paper and presentation. I hate diabetes at times like this. I would love to say no biggie I will deal with this later but I can't I have to deal with it first and all else comes second. I will say that diabetes has taught me to balance and juggle all while keeping up in college and with friends and keeping my endo happy at the same time( challenge accepted!) and for that I must through some love diabetes way because without it how would I understand struggle and the crazy crap the world throws my way?? In a sense I am lucky to have dealt with this all early because I am now equip to not only handle life but to handle it with bumps and mountains along the way and so when I get papers and presentations assigned I can take them with grace because they are nothing compared to the effort it takes to get that number back to normal (whatever normal is). Now I can deal!