Why I chose dorm life

                                              ( yes this is my room and bed lol )

It is a decision that every type 1 has to make, where to live when at college. It is a hard one too I must admit. We think about the regular stuff like who is going to be there, what if I do not like my room mate, cost and needs, but as diabetics we must also think of safety, diabetes care, emergency help, and a list of other things. I personally chose the dorms because I knew it would work for me based off of the following:
1. I am surrounded by friends who know me and my diabetes and can help in an emergency vs. living in an apt by myself or with one other person.
2. Everything is close by life class and food at the dining hall and the convenience of a restaurant in my dorms helped.
3. We have officers who are emergency trained 24/7 in our dorm buildings to help if the need arises.
4. Cost is cheaper so I have more money for snacks and health insurance lol.
5. Community. ( not diabetic related but the friendships I have made are priceless)
6. Study groups easy to find and close to room if not in my room when needed.
7. If I forget something on my way to class like say a meter or even pump ( yep has happened after shower lol) I do not have far to go.
8. Health clinic in my dorm can we say convenience?
9. Great activities to attend like the theater productions or laser tag or my favorite is the dorm against dorm basketball and kick ball games.
10. and last but not least independence with security of knowing help is there if I need it.
These all can up in conversation with my friends and family when deciding what was best for me and honestly I would not change it.

I will not give up

I had to remind myself of this today. You see we are in the final month of the semester and classes are really heating up. Papers are due and finals are coming. I worked out with the guys to relieve some stress and stopped dead in my tracks because of a nasty low of 32mg/dl as if school pressures are not enough I have to fight diabetes in the mix. You hear all the time how you are stronger because of your disease or a better person because of it but at the end of the day I wanted to cry. I felt weak and defeated. We were all having a great time walking back from the soccer field which is about 3 Min's from our dorms and bam it hit me like a ton of bricks. I stopped and tested and of course it is low. I am amazed at my friends though they did not fret or run nope they stopped with me. As if I was not embarrassed enough one of our campus police saw us and stopped when he saw me test. He knows I am diabetic and said get in the car and took me to the dining hall for some much needed juice. Now I know that as diabetics we are strong and should never be embarrassed of a disease we did not ask for or cause but it is just those little moments that I just wish for a moment that all was right in my diabetes world and I was always at perfect levels. I then snap out of it and get back to reality and realize that I need not be embarrassed instead I need to be grateful for the friends and support I have to help me each day.I did not give up today instead I drank my juice and got back to college life. On a side note all of my friends just signed up to do the jdrf walk with me this year!! but more on that later.

Love, Hate, deal

This is what I have had to deal with this week! I really hate diabetes at times like this. You see I have a paper that is 60% of my final grade due this week and so I have the stress of ensuring that this paper is nothing less then high quality historical research along side my Anatomy class presentation that also happens to be due the same day! Now for any normal college student this would be enough to keep them up for a week and on the edge of their seat till the grade comes back, but for me with type 1 diabetes I have to first deal with this number and get re-situated before I can stress the paper and presentation. I hate diabetes at times like this. I would love to say no biggie I will deal with this later but I can't I have to deal with it first and all else comes second. I will say that diabetes has taught me to balance and juggle all while keeping up in college and with friends and keeping my endo happy at the same time( challenge accepted!) and for that I must through some love diabetes way because without it how would I understand struggle and the crazy crap the world throws my way?? In a sense I am lucky to have dealt with this all early because I am now equip to not only handle life but to handle it with bumps and mountains along the way and so when I get papers and presentations assigned I can take them with grace because they are nothing compared to the effort it takes to get that number back to normal (whatever normal is). Now I can deal!

Still here...........

You always here a diabetics first priority is Diabetes and it is always on our minds even when everything is going right. I had a wonderful day with amazing friends who always keep me smiling. I had a great day with diabetes did not have to do any tweaking or extra testing. I am sure all the stars lined up perfectly and all was right with the world. Even though all went great and I did not feel like a diabetic that day, and feeling normal diabetes still manages to say "hey I am here". How you might ask seeing all was perfect? well this is one of the pics and of course my pump "pinky" was right there front and center. Did this ruin the pic? no, did it change my thinking? no ( again diabetes is always on our minds behaving or not). It did none of that but there is no denying my diabetes even when I feel "normal" because I wear my pancreas on the outside. As you can tell I have no problem wearing my pump for the world to see (I mean it is almost like a badge of honor for the battle we fight daily) and that will not change (  great advocate conversation starter allowing one to spread the word), I am lucky because I have access to the greatest diabetes care possible with a pump and cgm and I will not take that for granted but it would be nice to have one day that I am not reminded of my diabetes.

And this is why.....

This is the leftovers of a terrible low that just did not want to come up. I am sharing this because this is why I want a cure. I should have been writing my history paper on the Antebellum period, but no instead I spent an hour trying to fight this low. It was a stubborn 34 mg/dl. I am lucky to have an amazing group of friends who are joining me in my JDRF walk this year. It is going to be amazing and this post is just part of the reason as to why I walk because in all honesty a high sucks just as bad but until the cure is a reality I will con't to walk and fight. To have the people I have in my life willing to join the walk and raise the money even though they personally do not deal with the disease is just wonderful and I feel amazingly blessed by it.

Stressing lows

It has to be really weird but I am stressing a lot lately and my blood sugars are dropping because of it. Should I not be fighting highs? I think I would rather fight the highs seeing as I do not feel the lows (thank goodness for pinky my CGM) I am used to blood sugars more like this 

I work hard for this stability which is difficult in college especially nursing school. I think this has to do with the heat seeing as C (the guy diabetic I meet) said he is dealing with the same lows. in fact we were running in to the chow hall at the same time before lunch looking for juice to treat the lows. he was 54 mg/dl and I was 43 mg/dl. So we got to talking and found each is dealing with the same issues. So we decided that this was not a magic cure of our diabetes but more likely the heat since that is where we are similar with walking in it all the time going to different classes. Glad I found another D friend it helps.